Restless
by FUIC
Summary: Set in new moon before Edward and the rest of the Cullens leave forks. Bella finds herself growing restless over a Cullen that's not necessarily Edward. Bella/Edward with eventual Bella/Alice. M for later chapters. SLASH alert :
1. Chapter 1

Hello everyone. I haven't written anything in awhile so bare with me. I just got the itch and have had Bellice on the brain pretty constantly as of late. None of the characters are mine unfortunately. Basically, I just have my own version of Twilight in my head and decided to share it with you. If everything goes well, this should be the first of many chapters. Future slash warnings...actually just always assume slash will be present bc it's hard for me to not put them together. haha. ANyway, I'll quit rambling. Enjoy. Feedback would be very kind :)

Restless

I had been reading a book all night, unable to sleep. I never slept well when Edward was away. Alice had stopped by earlier to tell me Edward would be hunting over the weekend with Jazz and Em. She was to check up on me regularly as per Edwards request. She had asked me if I needed her to stay, but I was already too embarrassed that Edward felt I needed a babysitter. I sent her away, not wanting her to waste an evening staring at the wall while I attempted sleep.

That was hours ago. I was starting to regret my decision. Maybe I could call Alice. If I couldn't sleep, at least she could keep me company. Alice had been spending more time with me over the last few months. It was like Edward and she had made a schedule. If one was hunting or busy, the other was not far away. I had somehow acquired not one, but two mythical creatures to coddle and dote on me. I hated the coddling. But the love I felt from both vampires was genuine and very much appreciated. I know how lucky I am. I have a supernatural boyfriend and a supernatural best friend. I'm still trying to understand why they ever paid me any attention, but I'm thankful they did and love them both dearly.

My thoughts were interrupted by a gentle tap on the window. I looked up quickly, a rush of excitement flooding me as I saw my spiky haired vampire smiling perfectly outside the window. Alice was the most amazing person I had ever met. I don't make friends easily, but the tiny vampire danced into my life and had been lighting it up ever since. My love for her was second only to Edward. At first, I thought that seemed strange, but dismissed it. Alice was simply the best friend I have ever had.

"Alice…" I whispered in reverence. I shook myself out of my momentary daze to let the beautiful girl in.

"Hello again, Bells." Alice's sweet voice tinkled as she leaned in to give me a quick kiss on the cheek. Before she could pull away, I had my arms around her, pulling her in for an unexpected hug. Alice laughed and returned it warmly. "Happy to see me I take it?"  
I didn't respond right away, hugging the tiny vampire tighter and shaking my head.

"I couldn't sleep and was JUST about to call you and make you come back over." Alice clapped her hands together and giggled.

"You were going to MAKE me come over? What if I was busy...doing something really intricate and amazing?" I smiled and buried my face in the vampire's neck, taking in a long slow breath and exhaling slowly before I answered. Alice smelled as good as Edward, better even. Their was a distinct, feminine sweetness about her.

"Were you curing cancer? ...And I'm being serious!" I added when I immediately felt Alice start to shake her head. I was smiling but stayed quiet to hear Alice's soft response.

"You're no fun. No. I was not curing cancer...that's tomorrow night." Alice giggled again as I scoffed.

"Then tomorrow night, you will no longer be at my beck and call." Alice gasped, pulling back slightly so she could see my face, pretending to look flabbergasted. Suddenly her eyes narrowed and I noticed they grew a shade darker.

"You DO realize I'm a vampire, right?" I noticed a strange tone in her voice. My heart rate picked up instantly and I wasn't sure why. Alice noticed it too. "You should be more careful. You forget who we are sometimes Bella." Alice had grown more serious but there was still something flashing in her eyes. I was staring into them, trying to pinpoint exactly what it was that now seemed to be effecting my stomach as well. It felt like it was doing flip flops. 'Interesting' I thought to myself. Alice was still staring intensely when I became aware of our proximity. Her hands were slung low on my hips where they had slid down after our initial hug. I was equally shocked to realize my arms were resting on the vampire's shoulders, hands locked behind her neck. I felt my heart pick up again. 'I should pull away...I really should...why am I not pulling away!' I couldn't seem to pull myself together and before I even realized what was happening, I heard myself respond, wondering when I lost control of my own mouth.

"You would never hurt me." I whispered. "I'm not afraid of you." I noted that Alice's eyes were almost completely black now. I watched as the pixie turned her head to the side for a minute, but did not pull out of our embrace. I couldn't explain the strange feeling of relief that swept through me at this realization. I was about to analyze further when suddenly Alice pulled her hips flush up against my own, leaving hardly any space between the two of us. Her fingers were tight around my waste. Not enough to cause pain, but enough to send my already quickening heart rate into overdrive. I felt her spiky hair tickling my cheek as she leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"You should be Bella. You should be." Her sweet breath tickled and I felt myself shiver, noting the goosebumps on my arms. "You're blood...is singing to me right now..." I gasped as I felt the pixie like girl run her nose up and then back down my neck, inhaling deeply. I could feel as well as hear Alice purring. 'I need to pull away. WHY AM I NOT PULLING AWAY!' I screamed again to myself. It was as if I had been put in a trance, Alice's petite yet strong hands anchoring me to the spot. Then an unexplained wave of desire washed over me and I gasped.

"Al...Alice?" I closed my eyes unable to keep the trembling out of my voice. The vampire's hands slid lower onto to my ass, squeezing firmly and pulling me in tighter. I couldn't stop the whimper that escaped my lips as I clung tighter to the shorter girl in my arms. I felt a hand in my hair as Alice pulled my head back far enough to kiss me. I moaned and immediately threaded my own hands through Alice's spiky hair, pulling myself deeper into the kiss. It was as if I no longer had control over my own body. It was moving and responding to Alice in away I had never experienced before. Alice growled and we both froze, lips still together. Our eyes grew wide as we stared at each other, the reality of the situation sinking in. She was suddenly on the other side of the room, a sad look in her eyes. She turned her head towards the window, shaking slightly.

"What have we done?" And then she was gone, her whispered words still lingering in the air all around me. I stared at the empty spot on the floor for a full minute before the panic set in. Then suddenly, there was a strange noise. I couldn't place it. 'What IS that?' It was loud and obnoxious. My mind suddenly seemed foggy. It was coming from the corner of the room. 'ALARM CLOCK! It's Friday and you have school today!' My brain shouted at me.

My eyes snapped open and I had to put my hand on my chest to get my breathing under control. There was a loud thud as the book I had been reading hit the floor. It was a dream. It was all a dream. I felt a blanket of relief fall over me, but also couldn't help noting the slight feeling of disappointment. I sat up slowly, rubbing my head with a sarcastic laugh. "Well that's new..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello Everyone! Sorry for the gap in updates. I picked up a part time job for the summer for a few extra bucks. My free time has been a bit non-existent but I found some time today to post! Before I do, I wanted to first apologize for the last chapter. I haven't written in years but I've had this story rattling around in my brain for awhile now. I admit to being a bit overly excited about writing again, hence, the last chapter. Haha. In my excitement, I forgot how this works. Meaning, spell checks and proof reading may or may not have been over looked. So if you can forgive me of that, I promise to make up for it from here on out. Maybe chalk it up to rustiness? Hahaha. So anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I spent more quality time on it and I think its back on track. I'm not sure how long this will be but I have plenty planned and I will keep you posted ****A few things I forgot to mention in my last chapter - (got excited and forgot that you guys aren't in my brain) Jacob is not a love interest in this story. He will be around and protective of course, but I'm just going to keep them as best friends. I prefer them that way anyway, sorry Team Jacob. Lol. Edward and Bella are together for now, but I will begin dealing with that in the next few updates. These first few chapters are mainly to set up the type of relationship Alice and Bella already have, well in my world anyway, and how it evolves. Alice is with Jasper for now, and all the other couple are the same. I don't want to give everything away, but I will say that this WILL be a Bellice story down the road (in case you didn't pick that up in the first chapter…or this one. Lol). SO if you're not into that, well…you've been warned. Also, this will eventually be an M rated fic because, frankly, I think those two ladies are hot and I'm kinda freaky. So anybody with virginal eyes or virtues, you have been warned as well ****Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who reviewed. You made my day. I hope you enjoy this and I look forward to your thoughts!**

**I own nothing. Stephanie Meyer created these guys…sadly **

**P.S. The story is obviously from Bella's POV but that's just for now. We'll get in Alice's head soon. Enjoy!**

**Restless **

_My eyes snapped open and I had to put my hand on my chest to get my breathing under control. There was a loud thud as the book I had been reading hit the floor. It was a dream. It was all a dream. I felt a blanket of relief fall over me, but also couldn't help noting the slight feeling of disappointment. I sat up slowly, rubbing my head with a sarcastic laugh. "Well that's new..."_

I got ready for school on auto-pilot that morning. My dream seemed to be the only thing I could focus on. What did it mean? What was the significance? Why am I suddenly nervous to see my best friend? It was just a dream. It was just a really…random dream.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a horn honking outside the house. I peeked out the window and felt a blush already creeping onto my cheeks. Alice was here to pick me up. I tried taking a few deep breaths to get my breathing back under control. I can't just waltz out there, heart beating a million miles a minute with a permanent blush on my face, and expect not to get grilled as to why. '_Pull it together. It's only Alice. It was a silly dream. She'd probably laugh about it and then tease me for weeks._'

I grabbed my books and locked the door behind me. Taking one last steadying breath, I turned to face the vision waiting for me. Alice was waiting on my side of the car, holding the door open for me as I walked down the stairs of the front porch.

"Morning, Bells!" She sent me one of her disarming smiles and I had to mentally push the butterflies down before I answered. '_Jesus Christ. What is WITH me this morning!_'

"Good morning Alice." I climbed into the yellow sports car, taking my time on the seatbelt. She closed the door for me and was in her seat, backing up by the time I had settled. We stayed quiet for a few minutes, but it was a comfortable silence. Alice wasn't known for enjoying the quiet per say, but if you caught her in the right mood, you'd find her quite the little reflective vampire. I smiled at the thought and inadvertently broke the silence.

"What are you smiling about? Excited for school?" I scoffed and swatted her arm.

"Yeah. SUUUUPER excited. Couldn't sleep I was so excited." Alice giggled and shook her head.

"Well then what's on your mind? Let me guess, an amber eyed, overly broody vampire?" She turned towards me innocently.

"Alice! That's not very nice to talk about your brother like that!"

"Was I wrong?" Her sweet smile challenging me. I stared at her for a moment, the sun was trying to peak through the clouds and I watched as Alice's face began to catch the light. "Bella?" She was looking back at me questioningly.

"You're so beautiful…" I was blushing before I had finished the sentence. _'What's gotten into you, Bella? When did you become unable to keep your thoughts to yourself?_' Alice was staring at me, slowing raising an eyebrow as I got even redder. "Sorry…the sun…and…you know…" I pointed towards her face, swishing my finger in a circle as I stuttered.

"Thank you Bella." She was still trying to get a read on me, but let me off the hook just the same. With a sweet smile, she turned back towards the road. It was only then that I realized we weren't headed towards school.

"Umm, Alice? Where are we going? This isn't how we get to school." She nodded but remained silent. "Soooooo…where are we going?" I couldn't tell if she was acting strange or if my over active mind as of late was playing more tricks on me.

"Well as you pointed out earlier, the sun is out today…" I blushed again and nodded for her to continue. "I was thinking we could go somewhere fun. Somewhere you've never been before? You interested in playing a little hooky?" I returned her wide grin, noting the feeling of excitement wash through me, much like in my dream. I was going to have to talk to somebody about this. I made a mental note to call Jacob.

"I'm in." I said, shrugging my shoulders, trying desperately to play it cool. Alice seemed pleased and I felt the car picking up speed. I wasn't sure I'd ever get used to the speeds the Cullens drove at, but I couldn't seem to get any of them to slow down for me and accepted the fact that even though it felt fast, they would keep me safe.

"So are you not telling me where we're going then?"

"…I will tell you that it's my favorite, secret place in the whole world, but that's all you get." She nodded at the end for good measure.

"The whole world? That's saying a lot coming from a century old, traveling vampire." She smiled and giggled, shaking her head again. "So is it a Cullen family secret? And when did you guys find it?" I watched as she grew more serious, but still wore a soft smile.

"It's an Alice secret, and I stumbled upon it right after we met Carlise. It was the first time our family lived in Forks."

"Wow. So you haven't shown any of the others?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even. For some reason, the thought of her showing me something that she had never shared with anyone else, turned my stomach into knots. "I mean besides Jasper of course." I added when it occurred to me that she had surely taken her husband where ever it was we were headed.

"Actually...no. I've never shown anyone before. But it's not because I didn't want to. I just..." She took a few un-needed breaths, as if gathering her thoughts. "I'm protective of it in a way that I want it to be appreciated. And I think you will." She turned and shrugged, flashing me another dazzling smile.

I couldn't explain the feelings sweeping through me. Honored. Humbled. Proud. Excited. Confused. All at the same time. I couldn't reign any of them in enough to respond. I was already having problems speaking before thinking. I focused on the strongest emotion, relief. I was relieved. That meant she had never shared this precious part of her with anyone else, and I was relieved.

"Bella?" Her musical voice snapped me back to reality. She studied me for a few more seconds before she spoke again. "You're acting strange today. Are you ok?" I met her eyes, getting lost in them all over again. I was going to have to respond to her eventually.

"I'm sorry Alice. I didn't get much sleep last night. My brain doesn't want to function properly today I guess." I laughed and I saw the corners of her lips twitch, as she continued to study me. "But I'm very excited and honored to visit your special place with you."

"Are you sure? I can take you home…or to school if you'd like?" She could no longer keep the smile off her face. I swatted her arm, only resulting in a sore hand. She began giggling as I dramatized my injury, secretly reveling in the sound of her laughter.

"Go ahead. Get it out of your system. Don't mind me. My broken hand will mend." She had thrown her head back by now, no longer holding anything back as her joy filled the whole space of the car. She was enchanting. '_Gotta call Jake. Gotta call Jake._' I reminded myself.

"Awww…I'm sorry Bella. You're just so amusing." She smiled brightly at me and I couldn't help but return it.

"Thank you?" I questioned, pretending to be insulted.

"No problem! Your hand is ok though, right?" She grew quieter at the end and my smile softened with hers. She reached over and laced her fingers through my injured ones, all thoughts of pain disappearing. I stared at where are hands were now joined, swallowing a lump that bubbled up. I felt my eyes close as she began to lightly caress me with her thumb. It was such a simple, sweet gesture. I felt my heart constricting in my chest and hand to take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I brought my eyes back up to meet hers, and noticed something new swimming in them. Something I hadn't seen before, but could not place. She slowly shook her head, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

"Very strange indeed." She said it in a whisper but I caught it just the same. She turned her head back towards the road but never let go of my hand. We had held hands thousands of times. Thousands upon thousands, in fact. It was like an involuntary reflex that we shared, but never questioned…until now. Her skin was just as cold to the touch as Edwards, but softer. It was still virtually impenetrable, but was very distinctly feminine. There was a warmth to her that Edward seemed to lack. I wondered why that was. "This is as far as we drive Bella."

She pulled the car off to the side of the road, effectively bringing me back to reality. I watched her get out of the car and followed her lead. She was already waiting for me on the passenger side when I straightened up.

"Ready?" She asked, holding her hand out for me to take. I looked around and only saw trees. Before I could reply, she spoke again. "We're going to have to run for a bit. I promise I will keep you safe." I nodded and walked around behind her. She smiled and bent lower so I could get onto her back. "Comfy?" She asked as I got situated on her smaller frame. I nodded again and buried my face in her neck. I knew the drill. Don't look, or look and face an upset stomach. Alice giggled and I felt her whole body tense. "Ready or not!"

And we were off.

The forest was whizzing by in a blur. I kept my eyes tightly shut most of the time, but curiosity got the better of me on this occasion and I risked a peek. It only took a few moments to change my mind as my eyes strained to focus on the blurred landscape, almost instantly upsetting my stomach. I began to take slow, deep, lung full's of Alice scented air, burying my face back in her neck. My stomach slowed in its churning, leaving me smiling into the deceptively strong woman's shoulder. I sighed and tightened my grip on her, marveling at how she could put me at ease with her scent alone.

I hadn't realized we stopped running until I felt Alice's hands begin to softly caress my arms, which were currently locked around her neck. I knew I needed to climb off of her, but something unknown to me kept my body locked in place.

"Bells? We're here honey." I sighed one final time, effectively ruffling her hair with my breath and lifted my head. I was fully capable of returning myself to the ground, but the distraction of my surroundings left me immobile.

"Alice…this is…so beautiful…" I whispered into her ear, still too taken aback to elaborate. She nodded her head in agreement.

"I think so. Did you want to look around? Or would you rather me give you the piggy back tour?" I blushed at her comment and she giggled, hugging me to her tighter so I knew she was teasing.

"Sorry…got a bit distracted." I replied lamely. She looked at me funny again. "I've just never seen anything like it." I added the last bit in hopes she would quit trying to penetrate my thoughts with her stare, scared at what she might find in them. She helped me get down and laced her arm through mine as we took in the scenery together.

I felt like she had taken me to another world. It was like a secret lagoon? The lush greenery was enclosed by giant boulders and rocks. There was a waterfall at the center that fell off into a crystal clear lake about the size of Forks High. I almost chuckled at the thought. A wall of enormous trees surrounded it all like a giant fence, keeping it hidden from the rest of the world. It felt magical here. Like somebody made this place knowing that one day, Alice and I would see it together.

"Alice, how did you find this?" I whispered again in awe.

"Very accidently. I was hunting and had a vision. I watched a deer walk into these trees and disappear. I was…intrigued." I nodded but remained silent as I continued to take in the beauty surrounding me. "Wanna go for a swim Bella?"

I brought my eyes back to hers and smiled. She looked so happy and that made me happy. I wasn't sure why she was, but I secretly hoped it was because she was sharing this special place with someone. With me.

"I don't have a swimming suit, Al." She scoffed and waved a hand at me.

"It's just us sweetie. Nobody will ever find us out here." She finished as if that was that. I however was far from secure in her answer. _What does that even mean?_ I wondered. I had my answer when she began to remove her shirt. I felt the blush burning up my cheeks and looked away, trying to give her some privacy._ Was she crazy? Was she trying to test me? I didn't have anything resembling a handle on these new emotions regarding Alice and she certainly wasn't helping._ I was shaken from my thoughts at the sound of a splash.

"Come on Bella! The water feels amazing!" I counted to 10 very slowly in hopes that my nerves would settle enough for me to do this. I walked to the edge of the water, eyes on the ground, and sat to take my shoes off. I glanced to my right and saw Alice clothes in a neat pile next to me. That meant she was naked. No, that meant she was naked and expecting me to join her. _'I can't to this…but won't that look suspicious? She'll know something's up and eventually weasel that dream out of me. That extremely embarrassing, and extremely DISTRACTING dream.' _I wasn't ready to go down that road, so my only option was to play it cool.

I stood again, ignoring my nervousness and removed my shirt. I folded it neatly and set it next to Alice's. Next came my bottoms and my socks which left me standing in nothing but my underwear. I risked a glance towards the water, wondering why it suddenly felt so quiet. I looked around, but couldn't see Alice anywhere. I took this as my chance to duck into the water before I became anymore embarrassed. Quickly removing my bra and underwear, I dove into the water, gliding just under the surface as my body adjusted to the temperature.

I surfaced and called for Alice, wondering where she could have gone in the minutes I took to join her. Before I could investigate further, I felt something brush past my leg.

Shrieking in surprise, I spun around to face the culprit, only to find that I was alone.

"NOT FUNNY ALICE! Where are you?" I was treading in circles, hoping to see her coming if she tried to scare me again. I should know by now that trying to locate a vampire that doesn't want to be found is impossible, but that didn't stop me. Something brushed past me again but this time, it locked onto my knee and pulled me down.

"ALICE!" I sputtered, spitting out a mouthful of water as I tried to catch my breath. Her head popped up next to mine and she looked at me smugly.

"Gotcha!" She giggled, swimming away as I began to splash her. "Oh come on Bella. I'm a vampire. It's in my nature to stalk my prey." I feigned shock at her comment and she laughed harder.

"Prey? Is that all I am to you?" She nodded her head and we were both laughing now.

"Yes mam. You're like…a walking, talking T.V. dinner."

"T.V. dinner? That's what you think of me? I thought I would at least be comparable to steak…or…or SOMETHING of a higher quality then frozen foods section…" I scowled, slightly joking, but also slightly serious.

She brought her hand to her chin as if re-evaluating her statement before she spoke.

"You want me to pick a higher quality food to compare you to?" She raised her eyebrow, the corners of her mouth edging into a grin. I shrugged my shoulders and continued to pout. I watched her swim closer to me, the tops of her breasts peaking out of the water. I had forgotten about our lack of clothing and felt the water temperature rise. She was treading in circles around me and I swallowed, trying to keep my heart rate steady. She was behind me suddenly and I felt her put her hands on my shoulders, pulling me closer. Our bodies weren't touching but I wondered if she felt the heat sizzling between us the way I did. She leaned her head towards my ear and I shivered at the feel of her cool breath on my wet skin.

"Bella, you know how wonderful you smell. If I offended you, I'm sorry." My eyes involuntarily closed as her cool breath washed over me. I was about to respond when I felt her push down on my shoulders, dunking me again. I resurfaced to the sound of unrestrained, laughter. It was beautiful. If I wasn't so mad, I would have been swooning.

"BITCH!" I shrieked, lunging at the smaller girl. She dodged easily and continued laughing.

"Come on Pokey! I'm over here!" She was clear on the other side of the lake, thanks to her vampire speed.

"That's not fair Alice! You're a cheater! You can't beat me without your Vampire skills." I was pouting again and we both knew it, but I was tired of getting dunked, damnit! I was still wiping my eyes when I felt the water stir near me again.

"Do you know why you're strange?" She cocked her head, quietly waiting for my reply. I could finally see again but was now wondering if that was such a good thing. This place was so beautiful. And SHE was so beautiful, the water rolling lazily down her skin. Alice was in front of me now, but there was that strange look in her eyes…I had seen it earlier. I wondered what it meant.

"You talk to me like I'm still human, like I'm a normal person." It was said in a whisper, had I not already been leaning towards her, I would have missed it. We stared at each other, as if we were caught in some kind of trance. Maybe it was this place, maybe it was the dream, but it felt like there was a physical electricity crackling in the air around us. I brought my hand up slowly, letting it rest on her cheek. My heart began to pound as she leaned into the touch.

"You're Alice. You have more good in you then anyone I've ever met…in my whole life. There are people walking around right now with heartbeats, that aren't half the person you are." I marveled at the conviction I heard in my own voice, knowing every word spoken was true and from my heart. Her eyes seemed to mist over, as if she was fighting back the tears that we both knew would never fall.

"…Which is why I had to call you out for cheating." We stared for a moment longer before I noticed the corners of her mouth twitching up into a smile.

"Fair enough. And thank you Bella. That means a lot to me. Truly." She gave me a quick kiss on my cheek and turned towards the shore. I was frozen to the spot, my cheek still tingling. I watched the Goddess swim to shore and leap onto land with such grace and beauty, it choked me up. The water was cascading down her back and perfectly sculpted ass, causing a stirring in me like none before. I felt my body gravitating towards the shore of its own accord, the heat between my legs intensifying. She had her shorts on by the time I reached her and stepped out. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She froze when I had gotten close enough to touch her, taking a long deep breath. I moved closer, letting my body take the lead for once, but was stopped just as suddenly by the sound of her voice.

"Don't…" There was pain in her voice and I had no idea what could have caused it. I watched as she slowly turned towards me and gasped. Her eyes were coal black, like in my dream, except this wasn't a dream. "I'm sorry Bella. I can smell…you…smell…so good." _Oh my God. She was purring!_

"Still think there's good in me?" She sounded so sad and broken. I moved to wrap my arms around her, forgetting the state of dress, or rather undress we were both in at the moment.

"Bella, wait!" She took a few steps back, tilting her head away from me and squeezing her eyes tightly shut. "Can you…you need to get dressed." I felt the blush ripping through me, cursing myself yet again for not being in better control of my body these days.

"I'm sorry Alice! Shit…" I was frantically trying to throw my clothes back on, horrifyingly embarrassed at my actions. When I had jammed my feet back into my shoes, Alice spoke again.

"We should get back. Edward will be coming home tonight to surprise you and I need to hunt. You okay to hang out with Esme for a few hours?" I tried to catch her eyes, desperately needing a read on the situation. She was having none of it however, crouching for me to climb on so we could head back.

"Yeah, sure. That's fine." I didn't know what else to say. It seemed our secret adventure was over whether I wanted it to be or not. I climbed on and closed my eyes, wondering what just happened and why I wasn't more excited about getting to see Edward tonight. _'Well this should be an interesting drive back.'_

**Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**So, first off apologies for another long wait. I had a birthday and some end of the summer craziness with work. Thank you to all you lovely people who commented. You make me happy! Please feel free to continue leaving any and all thoughts :) Anyway, there's not much Bellice in this chapter but everything is coming together nicely :) Enjoy!**

**Disclamer: I have no relations to the Cullen's and Co...maybe someday ;)**

_"We should get back. Edward will be coming home tonight to surprise you and I need to hunt. You okay to hang out with Esme for a few hours?" I tried to catch her eyes, desperately needing a read on the situation. She was having none of it however, crouching for me to climb on so we could head back._

_"Yeah, sure. That's fine." I didn't know what else to say. It seemed our secret adventure was over whether I wanted it to be or not. I climbed on and closed my eyes, wondering what just happened and why I wasn't more excited about getting to see Edward tonight. 'Well this should be an interesting drive back.'_

**One week later…**

I hadn't seen or heard from Alice since she dropped me off after our impromptu skinny dipping session. I tried not to let that fact bother me, but as each day came and went, I began to realize that she was blatantly avoiding me. That stung more then I cared to admit. I had been spending all my time with Edward which wasn't a bad thing. I loved him very much, but I couldn't help but miss Alice. These strange feelings I had developed surrounding her still left me confounded. I was going to the reservation tonight against my boyfriends wishes, because if anyone could help me sort through my feelings, it was Jake. He was a great listener and honest to a fault. I knew if anyone could make sense of this 'situation' as I had been calling it in my head, it was him.

"Bella, I wish you wouldn't go tonight." Edward's soothing voice did nothing but grate on my nerves as of late. He was sweet and helpful and drop dead gorgeous, but god damnit he could be so stubborn. He hated the time I spent with Jake. At first I thought it was out of jealousy, but the more it comes up, the more I feel like he's hiding something from me. He's always hiding something it seems. I know he's got my best interest in mind, but this is one thing I refuse to bend on. Jake was my best friend. He was my oldest friend in fact, and I would never allow anyone to come between that bond. Immortal boyfriends included.

"Edward…" I pinched the bridge of my nose, taking a few deep breaths so I could remain calm. "We've been through this. Jake is my best friend. Unless you can give me a good reason not to see him, I'm going." I stole a glance, trying to read his expression but as usual, his mask was perfectly in place. Edward never gave anything away. It drove me crazy. Just once, I'd like to see him with his feathers ruffled. He was always so tightly in control of his emotions. I admired him and despised him for it. I wish I had half the control he had. I wouldn't be in the mess I'm in today.

"I'll miss you, love." I sighed as he pulled my into a hug.

"I'll miss you, too." I pulled away and reached up to give him a kiss. His lips were cold and smooth and I tried to deepen it as he leaned in. I ran my tongue across is bottom lip, asking for entrance and instead, felt him pulling away.

"I'm sorry, love. I should hunt." I dropped my gaze to my feet and nodded my head.

"Right. Ok. I'll see you tomorrow then." I was trying to keep the anger I felt bubbling up inside of me out of my voice. I understood perfectly how difficult it must be for him to be intimate with me. I was a food source on any other day of the week. It was a constant battle for all the Cullen's. But it didn't mean that I couldn't get frustrated about the situation. It was at times like these that Alice's face would pop into my mind. _Would Alice have this much trouble kissing me? _Something in my gut told me that she would have no problem in that area. She seemed to have the best control of all the Cullens, aside from Carlisle of course. I had to stop my self from wondering any further though. I had made that mistake a few days ago in a similar situation and found myself wondering about more then a kiss. _'God, I miss her…'_

"Edward, have you seen Alice? I feel like I haven't seen her in forever." He flashed his crooked smile that used to make my heart rate triple before he answered. _Wonder when he lost that effect on me?_

"She went on a trip with Jasper this week. They left very suddenly. It was strange…" He dropped of at the end. I couldn't help but wonder if I had anything to do with them leaving. I felt my chest tighten in anxiety. "She was blocking her thoughts. But then again, I think Alice and Jasper have been practicing together. I hear them less and less these days, which is nice for both parties." He finished with a chuckle.

"Well do you know when they're coming back? I was thinking I need a girls day." His gentle laughter did nothing to sooth my nerves, but I smiled back at him just the same.

"Esme spoke with her today. I believe they will be coming back this evening. Would you like me to send her over tonight for a slumber party? You ladies can paint your toe nails and have pillow fights till your heart's content." I couldn't help but laugh at that as well.

"Well maybe not the pillow fighting part, but sure. That would be nice if she doesn't mind." He nodded and kissed me lightly on my cheek before he jumped out the window.

I stared at the spot he disappeared into at the forest line from my window, suddenly nervous about the night I had ahead of me.

"First thing's first, got to visit Jake." I threw on a hoodie and grabbed my keys, not wanting to waste another minute. Jake would help me get to the bottom of this. I just knew it.

**An hour later…**

Jake and I had been walking along one of the beaches in La Push in companionable silence. He was good for my nerves. We had hardly spoken and I already felt more level headed. He was so young but also very intuitive. I could tell he was waiting for me to start the conversation, but he never pushed it.

As we continued walking, he broke the silence by pointing to a gathering of larger rocks near the shore line.

"You want to sit here for awhile, Bells?" I nodded and he climbed up first, offering me his hand once he was settled.

"Thanks, Jake." I squished myself up next to him and nestled in as I felt one of his surprisingly strong arms wrap around my shoulders. He seemed to get bigger every time I saw him. All the boys on the reservation seemed to be going through some sort of growth spurt lately. _Maybe it's in the water…_ I thought with a chuckle.

"What's so funny?" He asked, amused.

"Just wondering what they feed you boys that has you all growing like weeds." His head fell back in laughter and I couldn't help but join in.

"If I tell you, then I'd have to kill you." I pretended to be horrified before I was laughing again. He smiled and turned back towards the tide, bringing us back to our peaceful silence.

"It's so nice here, Jake. Thank you for letting me de-stress. I really needed it." I was staring at my shoes, marveling at how much better I already felt. Jake had that effect on people. He knew when to listen, and he knew when to knock sense into you.

"That's what friends are for, Bells." His arm tightened around my shoulder in a gentle hug before he spoke again. "Now are you gonna tell me what's going on? Or are we still staring quietly into the ocean?"

"Hey! This is nice!" I said, pushing him as he laughed.

"Down, killer!" He put his hands up in mock surrender. "I'm just trying to figure out what's eating you because something obviously is…so spill it, Swan." His voice was stern but his eyes were soft with a hint of laughter. I sighed and leaned back into him.

"I had a dream…it was…interesting to say the least…and now my head's all messed up…" He nodded for me to continue, giving me another gentle squeeze of encouragement. "It wasn't a bad dream, just…different. And I'm having a hell of a time making sense of it."

"Ok…So this is about your emotionless boyfriend?" I pushed him again.

"No it's NOT for your information…but he wouldn't be happy about it…" Jake nodded for me to continue. "Have you ever had feelings for somebody you probably…no you definitely shouldn't have feelings for?"

Jake sat quietly for a moment, before shaking his head.

"Nope…But that's because I believe you can't help who you love, so there is no wrong person. They may not be good for you, but for whatever reason, something draws you in at that time. I wouldn't begrudge anyone a fair chance. It's the only reason I put up with your controlling boyfriend." I stared at him for a moment, trying to look at it from his stand point. "Bella, if you're about to tell me you have feelings for someone else, I'm going to do a back flip off this rock in overflowing joy. Nothing against…well you know what, you know how I feel about Edward so I'll just leave it at that."

"Jake!" I knew he didn't like Edward, and honestly, I didn't like him very much either at the moment, but I didn't come to Edward-bash. I needed advice. "Can we just, leave him out of this? I'm freaking out as it is."

He smiled apologetically and nodded for me to continue.

"I had a dream…about someone…and it was…intimate to say the least…" He had furrowed his brows but nodded for me to continue. "And now, I don't know how to act around this person…because this dream…this stupid dream…it felt so real and now I can't seem to shake it. When I saw them in person…I can't explain to you how out of control I felt. And the worst part is, I think they know something's up because I haven't seen or heard anything from them since." I hadn't realized I was crying until I felt Jake wipe a tear away, shushing me gently.

"Ok." He took a deep breath. "Ok. So let me get this straight. You had a dream…about somebody that WASN'T Edward, and now it's complicated."

"Yeah, that's the shorthand version for sure." He nodded again, and we sat quietly for a few minutes.

"Bella, do you love Edward?" I whipped my face around at his question, wondering where he was going with this.

"I do…"

"But?" His eyebrows went up at this and I felt my hands get sweaty.

"But…lately…it's been hard." I lowered my head in defeat, only to feel his hand lifting my chin up again.

"Bella, I know I've never been very supportive of your relationship with him, but that's only because I care about you and I want someone to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I'm not saying he's incapable of those things, just that he doesn't give them easily or freely…and that makes ME uneasy. Do you think, that maybe you had this dream because you're unhappy…deep down…but can't admit it to yourself when you have all your wits about you?"

I stared at him for a few moments, wondering what this man in front of me had done with the 16 year old boy that was my best friend.

"I have been frustrated…pretty much all the time with him as of late…so you think it's just my brain trying to tell me I'm unhappy as opposed to being attracted to somebody else?"

He shrugged his shoulders and looked back towards the ocean.

"I'm saying that's probably a good portion of it, but that doesn't necessarily rule out your feelings for this mystery lover." He winked at the end as I started blushing.

"JAKE! NOT funny."

"Stop pouting Bella. It doesn't suit you." I stuck my tongue out at him for that remark. "Oh THERE you are!" He smiled, grabbing my face in his large hands. "So…are you going to tell me who it is?"

I froze. This was the part I was avoiding, and grimaced as my stomach started churning.

"Good God Bella! Look at you! It can't be that bad!" He was watching me carefully for any clues or hints.

"It's…complicated…I said that right?"

"You mentioned it." I took a deep breath, steeling my nerves for my revelation.

"Alice. I think I have feelings for Alice." I closed my eyes, praying to whatever God was listening to be merciful to me now. The last thing I needed was shit from Jake, but I had to tell SOMEBODY about it or I was at risk of losing my mind.

"Well that makes sense." I released the breath I was holding and slowly opened one eye towards Jake. He laughed at my antics and continued on. "Bella, have you SEEN you around her? You look at her like she's a super hero…with a nice ass."

"I DO NOT!" He was laughing so loudly, I doubt he even heard me.

"I'll say this, you've got good taste. She's definitely smoking." He nudged me and waggled his eyebrows like a typical male.

"JAKE! This is SERIOUS! What am I going to do? I'm NOT gay…I mean I like guys! I'm dating one. So these…these feelings…they have to be misguided. There had to be a reason. And ALICE! She's with Jasper…they're MARRIED." I buried my head in my hands and let the tears fall freely now. I was safe with Jake and needed to get this off my chest. "What am I going to DO, Jake? I'm so confused." I felt him tuck me back under his arms, rocking me softly as I released the emotions I had been hiding all week. I felt good to get them out in the open.

"Bella, this is definitely complicated…I'll give you that." I sniffled and nodded for him to go on. "I think you need to talk to Alice." He shushed me when I started shakin gmy head in protest. "Bella. From everything you've told me about her…she seems like the type to either take this in stride, meaning she'll most likely be flattered and slightly more consciences of her actions around you, or…" He paused, making sure I was still with him. "Or she feels the same way…and then you go from there." My heart started beating wildly in my chest at the thought of her returning feelings of the romantic variety.

"There's no way. There's just no way that would happen!" Jake smirked at me but shrugged his shoulders.

"You may be surprised Bella. If you don't talk to her about it, you realize that you are going to be feeling like THIS…" He paused to wave his hand in front of my face. "…for a looooong time. And you're not handling it well, are you?" I laughed and shook my head.

"No I guess I'm not."

"Bella, you know that she cares about you. She's not going to get a restraining order or cry lezzy if you tell her." That last part made me groan and I felt my hands get sweaty again. "Relax Bells. It's not a disease. Remember, we can't help who we like. Who we love. We're human. She'll understand. Either way."

"You're right." I sighed. "You're ALWAYS right. I hate it." He laughed and pinched my cheek mockingly.

"Disgruntled Bella is quite hilarious if I may say so."

"Yeah yeah. Take me home. I'm apparently confessing my feelings to a girl tonight." He nodded and stood to help me up.

"You know Bella, I know you don't want to hurt anyone, but you're also going to half to talk to Edward about all this. Even if you decide he's the right person for you, it will save you from potentially sticky situations. There are other people's lives that will be affected depending on which way this goes." I swallowed hard. He was right. I had a few scary conversations ahead of me. I didn't know how strong this attraction was for Alice, but that fact that I was finally admitting to myself that there was an attraction at all had my stomach in knots.

I drove home slowly. It was almost 11:00pm which meant that Charlie would already be asleep. This was good because I needed time to think about what I would say to Alice, and Dad was sweet, but occasionally chatty.

I walked in the door, smiling as the sound of Charlie's snores reached me. I rushed up to my room, and closed the door quietly. I turned towards my bed and let myself fall onto it as the days events washed over me. My visit with Jake had been a success, but I sighed knowing that I was still in a very sticky situation. I knew I needed to talk to Alice. And I needed to talk to Edward. I felt my heart going in two different directions. There was no denying how much I loved him. I wasn't sure I could let him go, but I wasn't sure I had an option. I wouldn't lie to him. He was a good man. He deserves love. I always thought it would be from me. But this thing…this thing for Alice had my head spinning and my pulse racing…all the time it seemed. I could pretend like I didn't know what these feelings were, but that had gotten me nowhere so far. There was just SOMETHING about her. The way she danced through the room, lighting it up all around her. Her tinkling laughter and ear to ear grin. She was infectious. How could I choose? Did I even have a choice? How could something so perfect ever want me? Could I live with that? Could I be friends now that these feelings have been revealed? I groaned into my pillow, wishing for options resembling black and white.

"Bad day?" I almost fell out of the bed when her delicate voice reached my ears.

"Alice!" She laughed and stood from the chair she had been sitting in to approach me.

"My aren't we jumpy." I stood and pulled her into a tight hug, sighing as her scent washed over me. God I had missed that smell.

"Well maybe if you guys would stop waiting for me quietly in the dark, I wouldn't be." She laughed again and gave me one more squeeze before letting me go.

She pushed me back onto my bed and jumped on behind me, situating herself indian style while I tried to get my heart rate back under control.

"So what do you want to do tonight Bells?" I stared at her for a moment. She certainly was acting normal. I wasn't sure that was a good thing or a bad thing. I could already feel myself putting the conversation of entirely.

"Actually, I was hoping we could talk…" There. I had said it. Now there was no going back. _Well done Bella. You stuck to your guns…shit. _

"Of course sweetie. What's up?" She looked at me with heartbreaking sincerity. No turning back now I guess...

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	4. Chapter 4

**So this was delayed longer then I had originally planned as usual. Apologies for that. lol. Thank you to you lovely lovely reviewers. Especially those of you who have been here since the beginning :)**** You guys are rad! So let's see...this is the last chapter in BPOV for a bit. I'm excited to get in Alice's head! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I don't know if I should mention the ratings again, but just assume that they will all be M for safety. The really fun stuff is coming later though, so try to hang in there. I'll quit rambling now. **

**Characters belong to S. Meyers, unless I'm sleeping. Then they're my neighbors :)**

**ENJOY!**

_I swallowed down wave after wave of intense panic as Alice quietly waited. I can't do this! I absolutely cannot do this! The voice in my head seemed to be stuck on a loop._

"How was your trip?" Well, I didn't have to bring it up RIGHT away. Alice eyed me suspiciously.

"Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?" She leaned towards me a bit and I was assaulted with her intoxicating scent. I let it wash over me and focused on keeping my breathing even. I knew what I needed to do. I just couldn't seem to force the words out of my mouth, no matter how hard I tried.

"I…I guess I just missed you this past week." Alice flashed me a dazzling smile and leaned in further to place a cool kiss on my cheek. I held my breath, needing her out of my bubble if I was ever going to get through this night.

"You're sweet Bella. I missed you as well." She threw herself back on the bed, supporting herself with her elbows and stared at me for a few moments. I watched the moonlight filter in through my window and catch Alice's perfect, porcelain skin. It looked like she was shimmering, and it was all I could do to tear my eyes away from her before she caught me staring. "The trip was nice. We went to Seattle. Just did some shopping and hunting. It's was nice to get out of Forks for a bit." For some reason, her comment stung. I tried not to take it personally, then I tried not to let it show, but it's damn near impossible to get anything by a vampire…which is why I was in so much trouble in the first place.

"Bella, I was referring to the shopping, which is horrific here, not the people. This is my home. There's nowhere else I would rather be…although the clothing stores in Paris…you have NO idea." She winked at me and suddenly, I was soaring again. "Maybe I'll take you this summer?" Her voice was quiet as she said this. I met her gaze and couldn't stop the warm and fuzzy feelings from creeping up into my smile.

"Shopping in Paris?…I don't know Alice…" I pretended like it was a tough choice. She scoffed at me and we both ended up with the giggles.

"Oh come on, Bella! I know you hate to shop but it's PARIS! The most romantic city in the world! It's every girl's dream!" She spoke as if she were reading an add for a Paris vacationing package, with the enthusiasm of Julie Andrews, circa "The Hills Are Alive".

"Well, in case you weren't aware, I'm not exactly like other girls, Al." She nodded her head and sat up taking my hands in hers. Our knees were just barely touching, an electric current flowing between the two of us. I was trying my damnedest not to swoon.

"No, you're not. You're not at all like other girls…" She was staring so intently into my eyes, I felt like she was looking at my soul. My heart began to pound. I had lost all control over it the moment she moved back into my personal space. It was a fact. I was unable to properly function with Alice Cullen so close. She must have heard my heart skipping and sprinting along, because she let go of my hand and slowly, brought it up to my chest. I felt her cool touch spreading through my shirt, my racing heart guiding her hand over top of it. "Bella…you're heart…it's racing." I had involuntarily closed my eyes, snagging my bottom lip with my teeth to keep the whimper I felt bubbling up at bay. She began to stroke my collar bone with her thumb, and I couldn't hide the shiver that ran down my spine at the touch.

I forced my eyes to open again and gasped as I saw two jet black eyes, boring into mine. It was like my dream. I could see the confliction in the stunning black orbs. The questions, the concern, and something else…smoldering just beneath the surface. I knew I should say something, but I was scared that this moment would disappear like all the others from my dreams.

"Fuck it…" I rushed forward and planted my lips on Alice's before I had time to chicken out. I wasn't thinking with my brain anymore, just letting my instincts take over. I would have time to think about this and everything else later. Right now, I just didn't give a shit.

Her lips were cold and smooth, like in my dreams, and painfully soft. It occurred to me after a few moments in my own version of Heaven that Alice hadn't moved, even an inch, since I first kissed her. I pulled away just slightly, keeping my eyes closed and praying to whoever was listening that I hadn't just made a terrible mistake.

When I finally built up the courage to open my eyes, I saw Alice was in a vision. I waited awkwardly for her to come back to me, cursing under my breath at the timing. Alice gasped and came back to reality, her eyes zeroing in on me. What had she seen? Oh God, she knew. She had to.

"Bella…" The breathless tone in her voice sent a shiver through me. "Bella how long…" She paused again, taking a few unnecessary breaths. "Why did you do that?"

My heart was beating so hard in my chest, I was embarrassed. I knew she could hear it. I felt like throwing up, my stomach was in such knots. I'd really done it. There was no turning back now. Repercussions be damned, I was going to get this figured out.

"I had a dream…" My voice was shaky as I dropped my gaze. I felt her cold hands clasp around mind again and shuddered at the feeling of relief sweeping through me. Jake was right. Alice would handle this well, either way. She wasn't screaming for the hills or being insensitive in anyway, and that meant more to me then she could possibly imagine. "I don't know why, but I've…I haven't been able to stop thinking about you…" I bit my lip and felt the familiar sting of tears forming.

Neither of us spoke for several minutes, the sound of our sporadic breathing the only noise in my room.

"How long…?" She ducked her head down, trying to catch my gaze. I swallowed hard, knowing that it was a fair question and she deserved answers.

"The first one was last weekend…Edward was out of town. We skipped school the next day? I didn't…sleep very good that night either…" I was trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to keep the blush at bay as a tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. Alice released my hand to wipe it away, looking at me sympathetically and nodding for me to continue.

"I know what you're thinking. And I DO love him, Alice. I don't know…I just don't think I'm IN love with him anymore. It's so hard for us." I let more tears escape as I continued. "It's not even the vampire thing. I mean that's a huge inconvenience, but honestly Alice, the more time I spend with him, the more I realize that we're not compatible on multiple levels." I shuddered as the tears increased, wishing I had Edward's tight, emotional control right now.

"Bella, can I ask you something?" I nodded, just grateful she was still here. "What makes you think that it would be any better with me?" I wasn't expecting that question. To be honest, the newfound feelings towards her had barely settled. Let alone long enough for me to consider the potential outcome of a relationship with the tiny vampire. Did that mean that she was considering it? There was my pounding heart again.

"Al honestly, it was as big of a surprise to me as it is to you. I thought it was just my brain subconsciously telling me I wasn't happy with Edward. But I had a talk with Jake and considering how the rest of this past week went…and the fact that I can't seem to get my shit together around you…I think it's safe to say that these feelings are more then just subconscious warnings." I took a deep breath, forcing myself to continue. I wanted to get it all off of my chest so I wouldn't have to agonize over the "what ifs" that would surely come if I didn't.

I took her hand in both of mine, steadying myself for my final confession.

"Alice…" I choked out. "I know you have love. And the last thing I want to do is make anybody's life more complicated. I'm going to tell Edward it's over because I DO love him but I can't give him the happiness he's been searching for. I thought I could at first, for a long time even, but I've always felt so wonderfully off balance around you. Now I know why. I won't lie to him, and I honestly don't know where that will leave me with the rest of the family, but I needed you to know…if for nothing else, then for my own sanity. I'm sure you're aware of how badly I was keeping my feelings in check. I'm not like him. I'm not like any of you…" I squeezed her hand, and both of us looked to where they were linked. Seemingly perfect opposites, fire and ice, but they seemed to fit.

"What you see is what you get, and with the very good possibility that I'll never see you again, I just wanted you to know…I…" My eyes were burning and I could barely see Alice through the tears at this point, and yet her beauty still stole my breath away.

"…I love you Alice." There went my breath, stolen away by my sprinting heart. Our eyes locked together, soaking in every spec of detail we found in them. I needed her to say something. I needed her to DO something. This stalemate was agonizing, but I refused to break it. There was something teetering in the balance, something important, and I was determined to find out what it was. I watched as her eyes flickered down my body, back up to my lips, and then finally back to my eyes. I felt an immediate heat rush through me, my breathing hitching slightly as well. Alice's eyes dropped down my body again, settling between my thighs. The heat in my cheeks was instantaneous. I felt myself get wet and Alice gasped.

"Bella…" She was purring. I couldn't help the sense of déjà vu I felt, remembering my dream.

Suddenly I was pinned against the wall next to my bed, Alice body crushed against my own. She had her arms over my shoulders, leaning against the wall and effectively trapping me. I felt her thigh slide between my legs and groaned in pleasure.

"Alice…" I whimpered. "Kiss me…" She closed her eyes tightly shut, biting down on her bottom lip and then suddenly, her lips were on mine. I was back in Heaven.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone! Thank you for the reviews! You are all so sweet :)**** I'm sorry I've kept you waiting again. Once I win the lottery, I won't have to work anymore and then there will be Bellice fan fiction for days! Lol. Anyway, I was going to break this up into two chapters but I'm antsy to get to the new stuff, so this is a nice long chapter in APOV that will catch us up to the present quite nicely I think. Hopefully it makes sense. It's essentially the last two chapters, except now we get to be in Alice's head. Hope you enjoy it! Leave me a note! I love them! **

**Characters belong to S. Meyers, unless I'm sleeping. Then they're my neighbors :)**

**P.S. Almost forgot! This one is rated M to be safe. Nothing super graphic just yet, but you've been warned just the same. Enjoy ;)**

_"Actually, I was hoping we could talk…" _

_"Of course sweetie. What's up?" She looked at me with heartbreaking sincerity. No turning back now I guess..._

**APOV - Earlier that day…**

"Hello Alice, my dear! How was your trip?" Esme wrapped up Jazz and I both in a warm hug as we walked in the door. Emmitt was too engrossed in his video game to get up and greet us, but that certainly didn't stop him from shouting his hello.

"Welcome back guys! Jazz, you ready to get your ass kicked?" Emmitt held a controller over his shoulder in our direction, all while still shooting the "bad guys" as he called them. Jasper chuckled and squeezed my hand before going over to join him.

"It was nice Esme, thank you." She smiled sweetly and wrapped me in another hug. "Where's everyone else?" I asked, looking for the rest of the family.

"Carlilse is at the hospital. I believe Rose is shopping this afternoon, and I'm sure you can guess where Edward is." She added with a laugh. I nodded, cursing the faint twinge her words brought up in me.

In truth, my weekend with Jasper was spent working on our mind blocks. Jasper and I decided long ago that although Edwards power was quite useful at times, we were entitled to our privacy as much as he was. Jasper was tired of Edwards wary focus on him whenever Bella was near, and I just wanted my thoughts to myself. The last few months, we've been taking regular weekend trips to practice. I can block Jasper's emotional projections and also keep mine shielded from him now. We knew we were successful when he couldn't get a read on me. We haven't said anything to the family about it because we don't want feelings to get hurt, and Jasper doesn't want to worry Edward into thinking he's hiding something. Honestly it's nobody's business but ours, and I believe that all of us have some sort of filter to at least partially keep Edward out of our heads. The difference is Jasper and I have gotten good enough at it to filter what we allow him to hear and what we are actually thinking.

I had never been happier about my new talents then I was at the moment. I smelled Edward before I heard his car pulling in the drive.

"Looks like Eddie's home." Emmitt commented, still engrossed in his game.

"Hello family." Edward was to the doorway in a flash. He nodded to Esme and I before sitting on the couch to join the boys. "What time are we leaving?"

Emmitt shrugged his shoulders as Jasper spoke. "Would you like to wait for Rose to get back first Em?"

"Nah. She'll miss me more this way." He finished, waggling his eyebrows at everyone.

"Perhaps we should head out then." Edward nodded at Jasper's comment and stood, approaching Esme and I as Emmitt shut his game down.

"Alice, I have a small favor to ask of you." Edward flashed me that crooked grin he was so famous for. "Bella has requested some 'girl time' after she gets back from the reservation. Would you mind keeping her company tonight? We'll be back tomorrow evening."

I threw up all the mind blocks instantly, not trusting myself to keep my thoughts and emotions in check.

"Of course. We haven't done a make over in ages!" I clapped my hands in excitement, trying my best to come across normally.

"Well I'm not sure she'll be as excited as you about that, but she was asking for you. I'm happy you don't mind." He said ruffling my hair affectionately.

I pushed down the swell I felt bubbling up at the news that Bella had been asking for me. I hadn't seen her since our little adventure in the lagoon. It was then I realized Bella was attracted to me. I thought I had been misreading her lately, but that day I knew for a fact she wanted me. I'm a vampire, those things are fairly easy to read. I didn't put much weight to her feelings at first because it's fairly common. Humans are naturally drawn to us. What had me worried was that I was feeling something more then friendship towards the girl as well. There I was, a clairvoyant vampire, TOTALLY caught off guard. I knew I needed to get out of town and clear my head for a bit, which is why I left with Jazz in such a hurry.

"I'll bite that hand OFF, you try that again Edward Cullen! DON'T TOUCH THE HAIR!" He pulled his hand away, backing up slowly and raising his hands up in mock surrender.

"Get him Ali! I've got 10 bucks on Alice." Emmitt elbowed Jasper as they humorously watched the scene unfolding before them. I growled, showing my teeth before sending him the sweetest, most insincere smile I could muster. Edward fought off the beginnings of a smile as he continued backing away.

"Perhaps we should be going?" Jasper's calm voice cut in. He walked over and gave me a light kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes, leaning into him for a moment. He was my rock. My love. My mate. How could I be having these feelings about Bella? It would absolutely break Jasper's heart. And I don't even want to consider what Edward's reaction would be like. I loved them both dearly. Whatever this thing was with Bella, I had to bury it. I would not be the one to break my families happiness. We were content here. It was a rare thing and I planned on keeping it that way.

"Bye love. Have fun tonight and try not to torture the poor girl too much." Jasper laughed as he stepped back out of our embrace. I nodded., tamping down the butterflies I felt at her name again. Jasper looked at me strangely for a moment and I froze, wondering if my emotional block wasn't as strong as I thought. But then he smiled and nodded at Esme on his way out the door. Edward and Emmitt walked out behind in an argument about who would win in a fight between Edward and I.

"By boys! Be safe and hurry home!" Esme waved as they ran off into the forest. I grabbed something to sleep in, just in case Bella wanted me to stay, and was back down stairs and behind Esme before she had time to close the door. "Heading off to Bella's, dear?" Esme's light voice was soothing.

"I think I'm going to hunt in the area first. Edward said she wasn't home yet." Esme nodded with a smile, bringing her hand up to rest on my cheek.

"You look like you could use a little fresh air, Alice. Give Bells our love?" There was something in her eyes. Something knowing and understanding. We all considered Esme to be our mother, but there were times we failed to realize how much that was true. This woman knew her children very well. Her hand dropped from my face as she opened the door again for me and stepped out of the way.

"I'll be sure to tell her, mom. I kove you." Not all of my siblings called her that. It didn't bother her either way because she knew how we all felt about her, but it always made me happy to see the pride the name brought up in her. I made a mental note to call her it more often.

"I love you too, dear." She pulled me to her for a moment, both of sighing with contentment. I already felt better.

"Bye!" I laughed as I took off towards the forest, already focusing my senses on my surroundings, glad for the distraction.

* * *

I took my time running through the forest as I made my way towards the Swan residence. Hunting had worked as a distraction, but only for a short time. I had already drained 3 deer and felt as full as you can on animal blood. Now I was left to experience a feeling I hadn't felt in a very long time, if ever. Nervousness. I was incredibly nervous. I wasn't aware I COULD feel nervous. I mean I'm a vampire! It seemed ludicrous to be sweating over a human…that wasn't mine to sweat over in the first place. I stopped and rested against a tree, trying to focus on something OTHER then the flashes of a sweaty, writhing Bella beneath me. I had even tried looking for a future of the evening, hoping for some answers or even a general direction on where the night was headed but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Maybe I was blowing this out of proportion. Maybe I HAD misread her feelings that day in the water. I hoped so.

I had spent hours upon hours this past week, weighing the pro's and con's to every possible situation that could occur depending on what happens between Bella and I in the near future. In the end, the most painless route was always the one that kept Bella and I as friends. I wanted Bella, yes. There was no use denying it. I loved Bella. I would go so far as to say I'm IN love with her. But the love I have for Jasper, my husband, my best friend, it's more. I could never betray him. It wasn't even about Edward at this point for me. I care for him deeply and have no desire to hurt him, but hurting Jasper is something I had absolutely no desire to do.

I pushed off the tree once I felt like I had my emotions back under control and continued heading to Bella's house. She should be getting back from La Push soon.

* * *

I noticed Bella's truck was missing when I arrived. I went ahead and climbed up into the tree by her window to wait. Even from outside her window, Bella's scent was powerful in my nostrils, stirring the sleeping monster within me. I held my breath for a moment, reminding myself who's window I was outside of and also that I had literally JUST hunted. I waited to start breathing again until I felt the burn in my throat subsiding. It was then I heard the faint rumblings of an old, rusted Ford. Only Bella's truck could make that much noise I thought with a smile.

I watched as she pulled in the drive, my perfect night vision revealing her delicate features. She got out of the truck, stumbling slightly in the process. I felt my lips involuntarily pulling up into a smile. She was so adorably clumsy. She seemed to find her lack of coordination humorous as well, laughing while she regained her balance. She made her way to the front door, trying to be as quiet as humanly possible as she slid her key into the lock. Charlie was asleep when I arrived earlier. I'm sure she was assuming as much, being careful not to wake him. I tracked her through the house once she was inside. She paused at the bottom of the stairs, listening for Charlie's snores. I suppose it's time to face the music, I thought before jumping gracefully onto her window sill, quietly sliding it open and closed after I had slipped in.

* * *

It was dark in her room. I considered turning a light on but Bella was already on her way up so I took a seat in the chair by her desk and waited. When she walked in, she had her back to me, careful to close the door without waking Charlie. She sighed, leaning her head against her door for a moment before turning and immediately collapsing into her bed. I studied her for a moment, not sure if I should alert her to my presence or wait until she saw me. I realized too late that I was going to most likely scare her either way. She was a bit jumpy at times, which I suppose is understandable considering the company she kept. I was torn from my musings as I heard her exaggerated sigh into her pillow. I suppose now was as good a time as any to make presence known.

"Bad day?" I couldn't resist the laughter that bubbled up and out as Bella nearly fell out of her bed in surprise. I stood, still smiling as I went to greet my startled friend.

"Alice!" She jumped up as I approached her and enveloped me in a hug that had my long dead heart, fluttering once more.

"My aren't we jumpy." It was all I could force out at the moment. I realized to my surprise that we were BOTH currently taking in each other's scent.

"Well MAYBE if you guys would stop waiting for me quietly in the dark, I wouldn't be." I laughed again, seeing the truth in her statement and feeling slightly embarrassed about it. I gently pulled out of her embrace and pushed her back onto her bed, desperately needing the space. I could here her heart rate picking up speed and had to assume it was from the close proximity to one another. I was feeling it too. My body's reaction to the sound was instinctual. But I was stronger then the beast in me. I knew I would never hurt or take advantage of Bella. She was too precious to my family…to me. So I swallowed the venom that collected in my mouth and crawled onto the bed after her, both of us sitting Indian style so that are knees were just touching. I couldn't explain the need to be connected to her, no matter how small it seemed. I felt like it would be these touches and moments that were going to get us through this mess. We were bonded to one another. The connection was there from day one.

"So what do you want to do tonight Bells?" I changed the subject, needing to break the silence. She was making me nervous…again. I plastered on my best happy face, hoping to keep my tumultuous emotions in check. It seemed Bella had other ideas.

"Actually, I was hoping we could talk…" I watched her fidgeting increase as she said this and forced myself not to follow suit.

"Of course sweetie. What's up?" I asked innocently. Hoping she couldn't see the panic swirling in my eyes. If we addressed this, there was no going back. Somebody was going to get hurt. I didn't want it to be her, but I didn't see what other option I had, and so I nodded quietly, giving her permission to continue.

* * *

"How was your trip?" Well I wasn't expecting that. I eyed her suspiciously for a moment before responding.

"Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?" I leaned in closer, not sure why I wasn't more relieved she was avoiding the issue. Her eyes fluttered shut as I did, and I could see the struggle in her posture. She was trying just as hard as me to keep it together. She was stronger then people gave her credit for.

"I…I guess I just missed you this past week." Her voice was small and shy. My heart swelled at the sound and I impulsively leaned in and kissed her cheek. There was no use hiding the fact that her statement had made me extremely happy. The smile I now wore said it all.

"You're sweet Bella. I missed you as well." I responded honestly, throwing myself back on the bed, using my elbows for support and successfully creating distance between us again. I needed it to keep my head.

"The trip was good. We went to Seattle. Just did some shopping and hunting. It's was nice to get out of Forks for a bit." I said, realizing too late that Bella would take it the wrong way. I quickly explained after seeing her wince, not wanting to be the source of her pain if I could help it.

"Bella, I was referring to the shopping, which is horrific here, not the people. This is my home. There's nowhere else I would rather be…" I paused for a moment for effect.

"Although the clothing stores in Paris…you have NO idea." I finished, winking at her in reassurance. The warmth that returned to her eyes told me I had succeeded. "Maybe I'll take you this summer?" I finished quietly, not sure that was a good idea, but it was an idea that excited me just the same. I met her gaze and couldn't stop the warm and fuzzy feelings from creeping up into my smile.

"Shopping in Paris?…I don't know Alice…" She pretended like she was having a hard time deciding if she'd be willing to go. I scoffed at her, thankful for the break in the tension that had hung so thickly in the air moments ago.

"Oh come on, Bella! I know you hate to shop but it's PARIS! The most romantic city in the world! It's every girl's dream!" She laughed at the over the top cheesiness she heard in my voice.

"Well, in case you weren't aware, I'm not exactly like other girls, Al." I nodded my head and sat up taking her hands in mine. Our knees were just barely touching again, an electric current flowing between the two of us. The look she was giving me, her eyes hooded and full of longing, I felt like I was really seeing her for the first time. This vulnerable, yet brave side of her. I was enchanted.

"No, you're not. You're not at all like other girls…" I whispered in reverence. Her heart began to pound. That seemed to happen a lot whenever we invaded the other's personal space. I knew the feeling, thankful my heart was no longer beating to give me away. I let go of her hand and slowly brought mine up to her chest where the thumping was the loudest. The heat I felt beneath my finger tips was searing as I marveled at her body's reaction to my touch.

"Bella…you're heart…it's racing." I know I was stating the obvious, but there was something charging the air between us. Something heavy and tangible. Like I was being pulled and directed by something outside of myself. I watched her eyes flutter shut as she pulled her deliciously full bottom lip into her mouth, biting on it in a way that made me instantly jealous. I pushed her further by gently stroking her collar bone with my thumb, reveling in the shiver running through her. What was I thinking?

I knew that I should pull back. Create some space. Get my head back in order. This was Bella! My best friend! My brother's girl friend! I'm a married woman! There were so many wrong's to this whole situation for me, that it seemed to make a right. It was as if something bigger then us decided to have a little fun. Keep us apart until it was too late and then…and then we meet. And it's already over. I'm a logical person. I'm happy in my life. I certainly could go on and pretend that nothing's changed. It's been my plan all along. I don't want to lose my family. They're my future. My love. But how can I fight this? She's pulling strings in me I wasn't aware I had. I have never spent one day of my life, starting from the moment I was born a vampire, out of control. But that's where I am now. Gloriously out of control. Totally out of my element. It was the most frightening and…exhilarating moment of my life. Like a force of nature.

Her eyes snapped open and she gasped as they met mine. I froze, frightened by what she was seeing in them. There was a swell of emotions brewing within me. Love. Guilt. Lust. I was torn. I could still prevent this, but did I want to? I felt a vision prickling through my mind, trying to pull me somewhere else. I fought against the inevitable, not wanting to break the spell.

"Fuck it…" She rushed up into me, slanting her lips against my own. I closed my eyes, willing myself to stay in the present, not wanting to miss our first kiss...

* * *

**_...I watched as Bella rushed forward, kissing me within an inch of my existence. I felt her warm hand snake under my shirt, gasping when she reached my breast. I froze, trying to regain control of the situation, knowing how close I was to pinning the girl beneath me and taking her, consequences be damned. Before I could create the distance I desperately needed, she pinched my hardening nipple, earning another gasp of pleasure from me. She pushed her tongue in side my mouth and both of us groaned, reveling in the taste and feeling of each other…_**

**_

* * *

"Bella…" I came out of the vision breathless and beyond aroused. I had to physically restrain myself from pouncing on Bella right then and there. I knew that Bella had feelings for me, I just wasn't expecting her to push it this far. I never thought she would be so bold while she was still with Edward. I had thought that she was feeling like me. Torn. But that vision, she was so sure of her actions. "Bella how long…" I stumbled again, taking another moment to collect myself first. Flustered. Another new feeling this human has brought out in me._**

"Why did you do that?" I tried to ignore the pounding rhythm of her heart. She swallowed hard, trying to steady herself as I had done moments before.

"I had a dream…" She dropped her head as she spoke. She looked so fragile, it broke my heart. I took her hands in mine again, hoping I could bring her a bit of comfort. "I don't know why, but I've…I haven't been able to stop thinking about you…" Tears began to well in her beautiful brown eyes, and I felt my chest tightening painfully at the sight.

Neither of us spoke for several minutes, the sound of our sporadic breathing the only noise in my room.

"How long…?" I asked, ducking my head down to try to catch her eyes.

"The first one was last weekend…Edward was out of town. We skipped school the next day? I didn't…sleep very well that night either…" She blushed at this and I had to tampt the heat I felt rising in myself back down as well. I watched a tear roll down her reddened cheek and caught it with my thumb, nodding for her to continue. I knew she wasn't finished and I needed to hear what she had to say.

"I know what you're thinking. And I DO love him, Alice. I don't know…I just don't think I'm IN love with him anymore. It's so hard for us." She said as more tears rolled down her face. "It's not even the vampire thing. I mean that's a huge inconvenience, but honestly Alice, the more time I spend with him, the more I realize that we're not compatible on multiple levels. He loves me, but not enough to let go. And not enough to let ME go."

"Bella, can I ask you something?" She nodded, with a sniffle. "What makes you think that it would be any better with me?" She looked at me, genuinely surprised by the question. She paused for a moment, eyebrows drawn together in thought. When she spoke, her heart began to pound again. I felt my hunger flair once more.

"Al…honestly, it was as big of a surprise to me as it is to you. I thought it was just my brain subconsciously telling me I wasn't happy with Edward. But I had a talk with Jake and considering how the rest of this past week went…and the fact that I can't seem to get my shit together around you…I think it's safe to say that these feelings are more then just subconscious warnings." I couldn't help but agree.

She paused for a moment, gently taking my cold hands into her own. Both our eyes were drawn there, staring into the silence.

"Alice…" She choked out. "I know you have love. And the last thing I want to do is make anybody's life more complicated. I'm going to tell Edward it's over because I DO love him but I can't give him the happiness he's been searching for. I thought I could at first, for a long time even, but I've always felt so wonderfully off balance around you. Now I know why. I won't lie to him, and I honestly don't know where that will leave me with the rest of the family, but I needed you to know…if for nothing else, then for my own sanity. I'm sure you're aware of how badly I was keeping my feelings in check. I'm not like him. I'm not like any of you…" She trailed off, squeezing my hand again.

"What you see is what you get, and with the very good possibility that I'll never see you again, I just wanted you to know…I…" My heart seized at the vulnerability in her eyes. She held my gaze, voice quivering as she finished.

"…I love you Alice." There went my breath, stolen away by her sprinting heart. Our eyes locked together, soaking in every spec of detail we found in them. I needed to say something. I needed to DO something. My mind was telling me to do the RIGHT thing. Create some distance. Explain to Bella why we can't be together, even though we're in love. My heart ached at the thought of what acting on that love would do to Jasper. The seconds stretched on for what seemed like eternity. I needed to say something. I could tell the pause was wearing on Bella, but she didn't waver. As I stared at her, I was taken aback my the beauty in front of me. The way the light filtering in through her window made her seem wild and defiant. She was a strange creature, running with beast. Loving them even. I let my eyes trail down her body, taking in her feminine curves and allowing my mind thoughts to stray. Her lips begging me to kiss them as the silence stretched on. Her breathing hitched and suddenly, I was assaulted with the most intoxicating scent I had ever encountered. My eyes dropped back down Bella's body of their own volition, settling between her thighs. Not even the blush ripping through Bella could distract me. She was aroused, and so was I, more so then ever. My body was humming with want for the human.

"Bella…" There was no use hiding it. The rumbling in my chest was inevitable. Bella was like a drug. My drug. My body was thrumming in anticipation. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to taste her. I wanted her wet and screaming my name. And that image was my undoing.

I threw myself at her, pushing her off the bed and up against the wall, surprising her with my speed. I pressed my body up against hers, reveling in the feeling of warmth. I had my hands pressed to the wall on both sides of her head, effectively trapping her there as I slid my thigh between her slightly parted legs. She groaned in pleasure as I pressed up into her, the heat I felt on my thigh making me crazy with want.

"Alice…" She whimpered. "Kiss me…" I shut my eyes tight, biting down on my lip in an attempt to regain some semblance of control. This was really happening. I should stop it. It wasn't too late. We could still come back from this. The only problem was, I didn't want too. I wanted to kiss Bella. I decided to take her lead, capturing her lips in my own, with a renewed concept of Heaven. Turns out vampires could get there after all.

* * *

_REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Pretty please with a Suzie on top? ;-)_


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone. It has been ages. Maybe more since I updated last. I know how frustrating that is. I'm sorry it has been so long. I don't know who is still out there that might be interested in my little tale, but I have a few weeks off from work and found myself reaching for the computer. It's been forever since I've written anything so bare with me, but I've missed this story and I would like to see what happens between these two little cuties as well. I can't promise that I will have another update for you in the near future, but I will try and certainly something is better then nothing, right? Lol. Enough rambling! On with the show! I advise any new readers to start from the beginning or you might be a bit lost. Thanks again for reading. If you feel like reviewing, that would be magical. It was actually the last review I got that motivated me to do this! So keep it up.**

**These characters are not mine. Sigh.**

I am kissing ALICE Cullen. Alice Cullen is kissing ME. Alice Cullen and I are KISSING. I stopped thinking in complete sentences the moment her lips met mine. Too be honest, I stopped thinking in general. She had her strong, slender thigh pushed firmly in between my legs and I found myself groaning at the contact. Alice took it upon herself to deepen the kiss at that moment and I could literally feel her purring as our tongues connected for the first time. The kiss was hard and passionate, and still somehow soft. Cool but deliciously wet and silky. This was not my first time kissing a vampire. Edward and I had kissed on countless occasions. But those kisses were always strained and guarded. Alice was kissing me. Really kissing me. I could feel ever tremor and sigh that escaped her body. She was moving against me in a way that made me fidget and feel needy. I tore my lips away from hers long enough to take a few deep breaths before I was crashing into her again. Feeling emboldened, I let my hands wander up the front of her shirt, gently cupping her breasts in my hands. When I realized she wasn't wearing a bra and I could feel her hardening nipples through her shirt, I couldn't resist giving them a light pinch. We both groaned at the feeling.

She grabbed my hands by my wrists and growled softly. Before my brain had caught up, she had my arms pinned above my head. I felt vulnerable, yet excited under her pitch black gaze. A part of me, way back in the recess of my mind, warned me that maybe this was moving a bit to fast for the vampire. Self preservation was never my strong suit.

I watched as her pitch back eyes met mine, her head tilted to the side, watching me hungrily. Then she leaned in putting her nose on my neck and inhaled deeply once, twice, and again. I was starting to think that I smelled funny until I felt something cold and wet brush against my skin. I realized Alice was licking me and the sound of her purring sent jolts of pleasure straight to my core. She began to suck and nibble at my over heated flesh. I know that having a vampire latched onto my neck was most likely a bad idea, but I couldn't bring myself to care at the moment. If felt so good. I brought her face back to mine and crashed my lips into hers. I needed to taste her mouth again. As we kissed, she let her free hand wander to the elastic waste on my pj pants. Before I fully registered what she was doing, as strangled cry tore through the room, realizing a second later it was from me. She had slipped her hand into my pants and was cupping me through my underwear, the pressure was delicious.

"Belllllla..." She purred into my ear. My eyes were screwed shut and I was doing everything in my power to keep myself from begging her to touch me. I wanted her to rip my clothes off and make the ache go away. "Does this feel good?" Her husky breath tickled my over heated flesh, causing me to whimper.

"Please. Please, Alice. I need..." I wasn't sure exactly what it was I needed. This was my first real sexual experience. Edward and I had kissed before but that was as far as we had ever gotten. He would always push me away, reminding me that the risk of losing control was too great to go down "that" road. Alice however, didn't seem to have that worry, clearly. All I knew was that I was on fire and Alice was my relief.

"Tell me what you want me to do Bella." Her eyes were pitch black and gleaming. She looked feral and if it was even possible, I felt myself get wetter. Her fingers were still dancing over my heated flesh outside of my underwear, making me squirm and pant.

"I need you to touch me..." I couldn't keep the whimper out of my voice. It sounded like begging to me and I couldn't bring myself to care. She moaned at my admission, pushing my underwear aside and touching me flesh to flesh for the first time. I saw lights and colors behind my tightly closed eyes. There was a sound I heard in the background, but I couldn't make it out seeing as I was distracted. It wasn't until her fingers stilled that I was able to collect myself enough to open my eyes again.

When I did, she looked angry. Before I could ask what was wrong, I heard that sound again. It sounded like beeping. Or ringing was it? We both looked towards the corner of the room where her coat sat in my rocking chair.

"SHIT!" She growled as she gently removed her hand from my underwear and pants. We both groaned at the loss of contact as she rested her forehead against mine, giving us a moment to collect ourselves. She released my hands and brought both of hers up to cup my face. The look she gave me as our eyes met was apologetic. I could also see longing and frustration in them, and if I was honest with myself, sadness. I didn't want to acknowledge that part just yet. After we had our breathing under control, she took a step back from me, frowning as I slumped down the wall, bringing my knees up tight to my chest.

"You can go look." I sighed, knowing that whoever had interrupted us was just going to keep calling. I tried to hide the frustration from my voice, but the disappointment was evident. She knelt down in front of me first, taking my hands in hers.

"I'm sorry. I'll be right back." I nodded and she squeezed my hands one last time before she got up and went to retrieve her phone from her coat. She flipped it open as it began ringing again.

"What!" She practically shouted.

I tried to stifle the giggle bubbling up from the way she answered the phone. It died away just as quickly when I saw her face change from annoyance to panic.

"That's fine. I'll let her know." She hung up and stared at her phone for a few minutes before sighing and slowly turning to face me once again.

"That was Edward." She said his name with effort, like it was a physical task to push the word past her lips.

"Oh..." I dropped my gaze from hers. The guilt of what was happening moments before, settling over us like a physical weight on our shoulders.

"Yeah..." She replied just as softly. "He's picking you up for school tomorrow. The boys decided to come home early. I'm supposed to tell you that he, that Edward loves and misses you." The last part came out so softly that I had to strain to hear her.

She sounded so sad. I was standing and moving towards her before I even realized it. I reached out to pull her into a hug but she stopped me.

"Bella..." She looked at me finally, her eyes pleading, begging me to understand. 'No no no!' I thought. She's pulling away. I'm going to lose her. I can see it in her face. The look of resolve was unmistakable. "I'm so sorry. We..." She was struggling to speak, I wanted nothing more then to comfort her, but for every step I took towards her, she took one step back.

"I need to go Bella. I need to think about things. As do you. I want...I can't do this to them. WE can't. I love Jasper." I felt the tears forming, the feeling of rejection wrapping around me like a heavy blanket. I knew she was right, but it didn't make me feel any better. I nodded my head slowly, backing away from her to sit on my bed. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I angrily wiped them away.

"Just go." I said. Not meaning to sound harsh but I was hurting and frustrated. I hated the situation and I hated that I didn't see Alice first. Maybe it would have been different.

"Bella..." She trailed off. I couldn't look at her. I didn't want to acknowledge the pain in her eyes. I needed to be strong if I was going to let this beautiful creature go. She loved Jasper. She had just said so herself. I felt selfish on top of everything else for trying to destroy that. I never pictured myself as the home wrecker type before, but that's what it was looking like now.

"Bella please look at me!" She begged. I brought my hands up to my face and turned more away from her. If she didn't want me, why didn't she just leave? I felt a dip in the bed and then heard her sigh. A pair of cold arms wrapped around me as she pulled me into her chest. I couldn't help the sob that escaped my throat as she began to run her fingers through my hair soothingly.

"Bella, I'm going to go, but I will be back. I need to figure some things out. But before I go..." She trailed off and leaned back a bit, waiting for me to collect myself and give her my full attention. I wiped my face on my sleeve and sniffled a few times before I brought my eyes up to hers. They were lighter now, and she gave me a relieved smile as I took a final deep breath.

I was waiting for her to continue when she leaned in suddenly and pressed her lips to mine. It was not as passionate as the kisses we had shared earlier in the night, but it was sweet and desperate and full of longing. We pulled apart and rested our heads together again for a moment. She stood and pulled me up with her, walking me over to the window before she pulled me in for a hug.

I don't know how long we stood there like that, just holding each other, and I didn't care. Everything always felt better with Alice wrapped around me.

"Bella, I'll see you at school tomorrow. I have to think and so do you." We both nodded. I felt her hesitate and then she leaned in again, whispering in my ear. "I tell you what though, no matter what happens, I'll never forget this night. I'm sorry it didn't end the way I wanted it to. But if we get through this, I promise you, I'll make it up to you...over and over again." She said this last part huskily and I felt myself getting wet again. She licked my ear and goose bumps erupted all over my skin. I dug my fingers into her hips where my hands were resting and we both groaned.

"You fucking, tease." I whimpered but let her see the smile on my face so she would know I was okay. "Go before the rest of my restraint dissolves." She eyed me hungrily for a moment and then seemed to shake her head, as if to clear the lust away.

"Bye, Bells." She said over her shoulder before she dropped out of the window to the ground below and then into the trees and out of my sight.

"Bye, Ally." Even though I couldn't see her, I knew she heard me. I brought my hand back up to my lips as scenes from earlier began dancing through my mind. I set my alarm, laid down, and closed my eyes. I knew that if I got any sleep tonight, my dreams would be filled with Alice, and I was totally fine with that. Tomorrow, Edward would come. Was I ready to talk to him? Was I ready to end it? I knew that it needed to done, but knowing is always the easy part.

**Ok…let me know what you think! Thanks again for reading! MUAH!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi everybody! Once again, apologies for the hiatus in between posts. Don't be too upset. I still have every intention of finishing this story. The time frame is ever changing but the fact that it WILL be a completed story one day has not :) Anyway, just saw BD part 2. Motivated my Bellice brain and here we are :) Reviews are lovely and very much appreciated. You have all always been very kind. Thank you! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the update. I am already working on the next installment so it shouldn't be another 6+ months before you hear from me again :) ENJOY and let me know what you think!**

**P.S. Characters aren't mine. Blah blah blah. You know the drill :)**

_"Bye, Ally." Even though I couldn't see her, I knew she heard me. I brought my hand back up to my lips as scenes from earlier began dancing through my mind. I set my alarm, laid down, and closed my eyes. I knew that if I got any sleep tonight, my dreams would be filled with Alice, and I was totally fine with that. Tomorrow, Edward would come. Was I ready to talk to him? Was I ready to end it? I knew that it needed to done, but knowing is always the easy part._

- Chapter 7 - BPOV

I awoke the next morning feeling a bit squidgy around the edges. I only got a few hours of sleep and it was anxious at best. For the few precious hours that my brain DID shut down, there were visions of Alice in various states of undress to keep me on edge and tense all night. I drug myself to the bathroom and resigned myself to a long, cold shower. I let the water spray into my face and over my sore muscles, washing away my aches and pains. It was Friday. I wondered if Alice was going to be at school. I assumed she would be, but with the way things were left last night, I wasn't positive. I was fairly certain however, that I wouldn't get to speak to her today and I tried not to feel disappointed in that knowledge. She had said we needed to think and she was right. The only problem was that she was all I could think about. I heaved another sigh of annoyance. 'Why can't anything be easy these days?' I thought.

Turning the water off, I stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel. What am I going to do about Edward? I didn't want to lose him, but these newly revealed feelings toward his sister were getting harder and harder to ignore. After last night, I'm not sure that I'll be able to even be in the same room as Alice again without spontaneously combusting. I felt like a stalker. It was all I could do this morning to not text her the moment I woke up.

I was going to have to talk to Edward and soon. My stomach tightened at the thought. I was dreading that conversation with everything in me. I loved Edward. I truly did. But I think my love for him has been changing for a while now. How was I going to do this? Did I have the strength to hurt him? What about his family? This would affect them all, could I risk losing them? My stomach tightened further.

I shook the thoughts away, determined to sort them out later. I was surprised that I hadn't heard anything from Edward yet this morning. Normally he would text me to let me know when he would be here to pick me up. As if on cue, my phone vibrated.

_Hey love, looking forward to seeing you today. I've missed you. I'll be there in 10 minutes if that's ok. See you soon._

_XO-Edward_

I sighed and snapped the phone shut. I grabbed a pair of jeans that Alice picked out for me a few weeks ago and a top that showed more cleavage then I cared for. Is it wrong that I knew that Alice would be happy to see me wearing it? That I hoped she would find me sexy in it? I felt myself blush at the thought. Something I did on the regular now that I was admitting my attraction to the pixie. I sighed and began mentally preparing myself for a bad day. How could it be anything else? Just as the thought entered my mind, I heard a horn honk once from outside.

"Right on time..." I mumbled, grabbing my book bag and locking the door on my way out.

Edward was waiting for me on the passenger side with my door open.

"Good morning, Bella." He flashed me that crooked grin I used to swoon over and pecked me on the cheek before closing the door after me.

He was in the car in seconds thanks to his vampire speed and we were heading down the road towards Forks High.

"How was your hunting trip?" I asked as he reached over and took my hand, giving it a light squeeze.

"We had a lot of fun. I missed you very much though." He brought our joined hands to his lips and gave mine a kiss.

"Yeah you too…" I felt guilt crash over me in waves and pinched my eyes shut in an attempt to calm myself down a bit. "Do we have any plans for the weekend?" I was stalling.

He looked at me for a few moments before answering, a light smirk on his face.

"Nothing in particular, although I must warn you, Alice is planning a surprise birthday party for you Saturday night." My head snapped around so fast, I could have been mistaken for a vampire.

"She…she…" I stuttered out. "She's WHAT!? Edward! That was not the agreement! I said no birthday shenanigans! You agreed!" He held his hands up in defense after parking the Volvo in his usual place at school.

"Now hold on Bella, I never said that we wouldn't at least get a cake and ice cream. You said we couldn't buy you anything, correct?" I huffed and folded my arms in annoyance. "Well that's still the case. Bella you have to understand that we don't have birthdays. You are the first person that we have had anything to celebrate with in decades. I think even Carlisle is secretly excited about this. It's just cake and ice cream with my family, okay?" He brought my chin up so he could meet my eyes. I instantly softened. If eating some cake would make them happy, I could do that.

"Fine…But it better be low key, Edward. You have to help me corral Alice!" I whined. He laughed at this and nodded his head in agreement.

"She's been surprisingly mellow as of late so you should be okay." I nodded and reached for my bag at my feet. Before I knew what was happening, the door to my side of the Volvo was opening and I was pulled out as if I was light as a feather. The world around me was spinning so fast, I barely registered the two massive arms wrapped tightly around me. That's when I heard the slap and my world was righted again.

"Owww, Alice!" I heard Emmitt moan as he rubbed his head and finished putting me down. "I was just saying hello! Sheesh. I haven't seen Bells in years, lay off!" Everyone started laughing, me included.

"Emmitt, it has not been years and you were making her sick. You know how squeamish she can be. Did you want her to barf on the brand new shirt Rose just got you?" Then she tapped her head as she tilted it pointedly at him.

"Oh. Eww. No, that wouldn't have been good. Thanks for the save?" He shrugged and Alice just shook her head. I heard Edward chuckling behind me at the whole spectacle as I fought to keep the blush at bay.

"Hey guys, ummm…you know I'm right here, yeah? Could you stop talking about me like I'm not? And I wasn't going to puke, Al…" I trailed off, scuffing my toe on a tiny rock I suddenly found interesting. I could feel her eyes on me but didn't have the strength to meet her own.

"Why is everybody so quick to dismiss the clairvoyant one these days?" That got a round of chuckles from the Cullen's as we started heading for the school. I felt Edward take my hand and watched as the other two Cullen couples took their places beside each other. Jasper had his arm thrown over Alice's tiny frame and was whispering something into her ear. I tore my gaze away and tried to focus on something else before the green eyed monster took hold. I don't know what I thought today was going to be like. I have been preparing myself for the talk with Edward, but I did not prepare myself for seeing Alice with Jasper. It made my stomach churn in an unpleasant way. I knew we had to keep up pretenses at least for the time being, but seeing them together did nothing for my insecurities, that's for sure.

Alice and I had study hall together first thing in the morning. It was our ritual to walk to our class with the boys and so that's what we were doing. When we arrived, Edward leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on my lips, smiled and walked off towards his next class. I watched him go, not wanting to have to witness another intimate scene between Jasper and Alice. When I felt like a safe enough time had passed, I turned towards the petite vampire next to me, expecting to find her with her husband. Jasper was already gone however and Alice had a pained expression on her face. Was my interaction with Edward the cause? Was this just as difficult for her as it was for me? I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and went to move in closer to her when the warning bell rang.

"Damnit!" I jumped, bringing my hand up to my chest to slow my racing heart back down. "Stupid bell…" Alice giggled at that and took a step closer to me. She was fidgeting from one foot to the other and wringing her hands at her sides. Could she be as nervous as I am? I'm sure that it was unusual for a vampire to fidget so it had to mean something, right?

"You look lovely today Bells…" She trailed off, eyeing me up and down approvingly. I felt the blush climbing up my cheeks at her admission and my heart rate kicked up another notch. I saw her eyes grow a shade darker and couldn't help the feeling of relief from welling up in me at the gesture. She was struggling too. "Well, we better get in there…" I reached out and stopped her before she could open the door.

"Alice…I'm talking to Edward this weekend. I can't…I can't lie to him anymore. I'm not in love with him. But I don't want to pressure you. I mean if you've decided to stay with Jasper then…well I mean…no pressure. I just wanted you to know where I'm at…" I was chewing on my lip nervously, like it was the last piece of gum on the planet. I couldn't make eye contact with her. I was trying to be strong here. It wouldn't be out of the question for her to choose her husband of more then 50 years over me. How could I really expect anything else?

"Bells?" She whispered my name and ducked her head down low enough to meet my eyes. When she saw she had my attention, she sent me a warm smile that did wonders for my insecurities. "I don't feel pressured. Thank you for letting me know."

I nodded once and then cleared my throat as I opened the door to study hall for her.

* * *

I walked with Edward from our Biology class to lunch like usual. We went through the line and sat down next to the rest of the Cullens already at their table. Rose gave me a barely there nod, which was all I could ask for at this point. Jasper waved politely and began a conversation with Edward. I chanced a glance across the table at Alice and caught her doing the same. She smiled at me reassuringly and then began talking to Rose about shopping.

"So Bells, do you have any idea what's wrong with Alice?" I almost spit out the mouth full of cafeteria pizza I had just consumed. Emmitt of course over compensated, thinking I was choking and began smacking me on the back.

"EMMITT!" The whole table yelled at the same time. He stopped long enough to look sheepish and I took the opportunity to try and get my breathing back under control.

"She was choking! You were choking, right Bella-bear?" I was still trying to catch my breath after the vampire successfully knocked the wind out of me. This day was going from bad to worse and fast.

I put my finger up signaling that I needed another minute. When I felt like I had my breath back, I patted Edwards leg letting him know he could stop rubbing small circles into my back. I know he was trying to help, but it just made the situation more awkward with Alice watching. On top of that was the guilt for wishing it was her rubbing my back instead of Edward.

"It's okay Emmitt. I must have swallowed something down the wrong pipe." I chanced a glance at Alice as I said this.

"See!? She was choking." Emmitt huffed and crossed his arms like a child. I stifled a giggle at this, watching as the other Cullen's fought off smirks of their own.

"Ok Emmitt, she was choking. That doesn't mean you're supposed to beat the breath of life back into her!" Edward scolded. Emmitt just through his arms up as if he had never been so exasperated in his entire life.

"Well excuse me for trying to rescue your woman from the clutches of death." I couldn't help it. I had been so stressed the last few days, that Emmitt's pouting and nonsense pushed me over the edge.

I was laughing so hard, even some kids at the other tables turned to see what the commotion was about. At first, the Cullen's all stopped to look at me like I had officially lost my mind, but shortly after, we were all cracking up. Even Emmitt gave us all a begrudging smile.

"I appreciate you trying to help Emmitt." He smiled at that and leaned back in his chair.

"So Bells, before I rescued you, you were about to tell me why Alice has been so mopey?" My face went instantly white as all eyes turned to me.

"Emmitt! I'm not mopey. Leave her alone. She has no idea what you're talking about. I don't either for that matter." Alice shouted.

"Whoa! Ok. That's it. I've been smacked enough for one day. Rosie, can I walk you to class early?" Alice dropped her head, looking ashamed for berating her brother. The two seniors excused themselves leaving just Edward and I and Alice and Jasper. Jasper was giving Alice a strange look and I felt instant panic flood through me. I was so afraid that he had read one of us during the lunch hour and put two and two together. I know Alice has been working on blocking out the others gifts but it was harder for her with Jazz because they knew each other so well. Maybe he read something in my emotions. God knows they've been all over the place today. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat.

"I should probably get going too. I can't be late. I've got 2 tardy's in History already." Edward nodded and stood with me. We waved goodbye to the two remaining vampires, Alice and I careful to avoid eye contact, and exited the cafeteria.

* * *

It was just after lunch on Saturday. Charlie had gone out to the reservation earlier that morning to fish and watch football with Billy while they ate their spoils. He gave me a new laptop for my birthday before he left. It was very sweet of him and way more than I expected. I thanked him several times, still in shock at his thoughtfulness. He made sure I didn't want him to hang around for my special day and blushed heavily as I hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek before pushing him out the door.

Edward was picking me up in a few hours. I was to pretend that he was picking me up for a birthday date and then act surprised when we ended up at his house with his family. I can't imagine that Alice didn't see him telling me, but maybe she's not the only vampire in the family that has learned to block another's gift. I decided to take a long shower and paint my nails. I curled my hair and left it down around my shoulders. I put on a dress Alice picked for me a few months ago. It was a black cocktail dress with white trim at the bottom. It hung at mid thigh and was cut low enough to show off some cleavage but not so much that I couldn't wear it around my father, which is the ultimate test. I looked in the mirror and nodded my head once. Alice would approve. I grabbed a pair of flats I had refused to let the pixie throw out with a smile.

As I made my way down stairs, I heard a light knock on the door and knew it was Edward.

"Hello, Bella. You look beautiful." I blushed and thanked him shyly. I never was good at taking compliments. He stuck his arm out and waited for me to loop my own through his. He walked me to my side of the car as usual and opened and closed my door for me as I got settled.

"Happy Birthday." He said as he leaned over the center console and pecked my cheek softly. I smiled and thanked him again. He was so sweet and so kind. I wasn't sure how I was going to break up with him. I felt myself clamming up and had to push those thoughts out of my mind. I wasn't going to break any hearts tonight. I had decided that already. Whatever happened with me and the Cullen family could wait one more day. They were all looking forward to this little celebration and I wasn't about to begrudge them what might be their last night together as a happy family. I could talk to Edward tomorrow.

"Thank you." He nodded and turned his attention to the road as we sped towards his house.

We pulled up in front of the Cullen mansion in no time at all, thanks to Edwards speeding tendencies. I still marveled at the fact that none of the Cullens had ever been pulled over. How is that even possible? Emmitt once told me that it was because the cops always assume their speed guns are off. How could somebody take turns in this town the way they do at speeds well over 100 miles an hour? So broken gun it is.

Edward was out of the car and opening my door before I had finished un-buckling my seatbelt. He bowed like a gentlemen and stretched his hand out for me to take, gently pulling me from the car. He brought my hand he had used to pull me up with to his lips and gave me another gentle kiss.

"You ready?" He had looped my arm through his and turned towards the house with me in tow.

"You swear this is low key?" I asked one last time, dreading attention as usual. He chuckled and nodded his head. "Alright then, let's get this over with."

We walked up to the house at a leisurely pace, Edward giving me time to prepare myself. He opened the front door after we had climbed the stairs and stepped aside to let me enter first.

It was dim in the house, candles and soft music playing in the background. I squinted to see where everyone was at and turned to Edward quizzically? He smiled and nodded for me to enter. I stepped in to the house, Edward closing the door behind me as I fully took in the scenery. The house looked lovely. There was a pleasant glow about it and subtle birthday decorations placed here and there.

"Edward? What's going on?" Just as I asked, the entire room erupted in a chorus of surprises and happy birthdays as the Cullens all magically appeared out of thin air. Once again, they had successfully scared the holy heaven and hell out of me. I screamed a little and then brought my hands up to my chest to keep my heart from exploding.

"Oh dear, I tried to tell them that you wouldn't enjoy being startled half to death." Esme said with an apologetic look on her face. The rest of the room was doing there best not to flat out laugh at the poor, jumpy little human.

"It's fine. I should be used to it by now. It seems to be everyone's favorite past time." This earned another round of chuckles as I continued pretending to be miffed.

"Happy birthday, Bella." Esme said sweetly as she drew me into a hug and lead me further into the house. "Thank you for letting us celebrate with you. We don't usually have such a wonderful occasion."

I smiled warmly back at my second mother, my chest tightening as I realized that might not be the case for much longer. I pushed those thoughts away and turned to face the rest of the Cullens.

"Thank you for the party everyone. It's very sweet and thoughtful." Emmett beamed at this.

"Of course Bella bear! You should have seen Tink though. She's been stressing about this for weeks!" I glanced in Alice's direction to see her glaring daggers her bear of a brother.

"Well excuse me for wanting to do something nice." She huffed, her eyes were down cast and I imagined that she was probably the closest a vampire has ever been to blushing.

"It's so beautiful Alice. Thank you." I said gently, hoping she would at least make eye contact with me. "All of you. You didn't have to do this. It's lovely." I trailed off when I realized Alice and I were going to play the awkward avoiding game tonight.

"As are you, Bella." Esme cooed, making me blush slightly. "I know Edward said you were insistent about us not buying you anything, but we just couldn't help ourselves I'm afraid." She handed me a small envelope with my name elegantly written on the front. I opened it up and found two plane tickets to Florida in it. "Carlisle and I thought you might enjoy a trip out to see your mother, I hope you don't mind?" It was sweet and thoughtful and too much, but I accepted it gratefully and pulled Esme into a hug.

"It's so thoughtful. Thank you both very much." Carlisle smiled kindly from across the room and nodded his head.

Next, Emmitt came bounding up and handed me a package about the size of a shoe box.

"This is from Rosie, Jazz and I." He was practically jumping in excitement. Rose came up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder to keep him still.

"Em, take it down a notch, you're making her nervous." Rose said with a slight grin. I gave her an appreciative head nod and she returned it, something she did more and more these days to my delight.

I opened the box and found what seemed to be my old stereo that barely worked from my truck.

"Is this…" I trailed off, still not sure what I had in my hands.

"It's your crappy stereo. We replaced it with a badass new CD/MP3 player. You can just plug your iPhone into the USB port and play Pandora through the truck!" His excitement was contagious. Again, it was too much but extremely kind and thoughtful of the vampires.

"You guys didn't have to do this. Thank you, I really appreciate it." Rose drug a beaming Emmitt back towards the edge of the room to give us space. I saw Jasper leaning against the wall and mouthed a 'thank you' to him as well. He smiled and nodded in return.

"And this is from Alice and I." Edward had a small thin present in his hand, shaped like a CD. I gave him a look of warning as he approached. They had promised me they weren't going to spend money. "Before you say anything, this is a homemade, collaborative effort." He finished, handing the gift to me.

I eyed them both suspiciously but was very curious now to see what they had done. I stole a quick glance at Alice who had finally allowed herself to look at me. She smiled softly and nodded her head for me to continue. I focused on the little gift in my hands, stuck my finger in one end and drug it across, tearing the paper away.

"Ouch. Paper cut…" I trailed off.

"Nooooooooooooo!" I heard Edward shout, and then I was thrown down, landing in a piece of furniture in the living room.

There was broken glass all around me as I looked up in horror to see Edward and Jasper trying to tear each other to pieces. I reached my arm out waving at them to stop when I noticed the blood running down and dripping off my elbow. Suddenly, all eyes were on me, even Edward's and Jasper's who were still ripping and clawing at each other.

"Alice! Get her out of here!" Edward growled, venom dripping from his mouth as he continued to wrestle with Jasper. Suddenly, my world was a blur. I began to panic until I realized the arms carrying me were small and dainty. It had to be Alice, so I buried my face in her shoulder as the horrific scene I had just witnessed replayed in my mind.

I felt us come to a stop and waited for Alice's next instruction. When none came, I realized how tense she was. She hadn't said a word to me and she definitely wasn't breathing. OH! I'm bleeding!

"Alice!" I shouted, jumping out of her arms and putting some space between us. "Alice, are you ok? What happened?" I began to ramble. I was pacing and inspecting my damaged arm when I felt her hand on my shoulder. She spun me around and grabbed my wrist, her pitch black eyes staring hungrily into my own. I knew I should be scared and probably start screaming for help. Alice was way past gone, even I knew that. But the look in her eyes was so reminiscent of the other night; I couldn't stop myself from reacting.

Her eyebrows rose up a notch as she took a deep breath, taking in my scent. When she smelled the arousal in the air, a deep rumbling growl poured out of her. It was like nothing I had ever heard. It was the scariest and the sexiest sound imaginable.

I wanted her. I wanted to let her have her way with me, consequences be damned. But before I could close the remaining distance between us, she screamed, shattering the trance I had been in. She fell backwards and began scrambling away from me. It was like she was wrestling with herself for space. It went against everything I knew up to that point about vampires. I have never seen any of them so much as stumble, let alone fall down. Her high pitched wailing continued and I took another automatic step towards her, my mind and body wanting nothing more than to comfort the tiny creature that was clearly in pain.

"BELLA STOP!" She growled this at me, her fingers digging into the earth and her body coiling, as if she was about to pounce. The terrified look on her face as she finally met my gaze was enough to stop me in my tracks. She was beautiful and feral and absolutely frightening. "Don't come any closer Bella. I can't…I can't…"

Before she could say anything else, the family came rushing up to us, surrounding us in the front yard where I hadn't realized Alice had taken me until now. Esme was at her side, gently pulling her further away from me. Alice struggled the first few steps away from me she took, her body at war with her mind before she finally let her head fall to her chin and allowed Esme to whisk her into the woods. I stared at the spot, fighting the urge to call out to her, needing to know that she was going to be ok.

"Bella?" Carlisle reached out and touched my shoulder, finally bringing me back to reality. "You need medical attention. I would like to take you to my office inside if that's alright?" I took in the rest of the family that had followed us out here. They were all standing 20 or 30 feet away with their heads turned in the opposite direction of me, still as statues. I noticed Jasper was nowhere to be seen and mentally added one more thing to my list of things to feel guilty about.

"Bella?" Carlisle quietly asked again. I nodded and let him lead me back inside on auto-pilot, not wanting to cause any more damage then I already had. It wasn't until we were at the door that I realized Edward was trailing behind us.

"Edward, it would be better if you waited outside with the others. She's going to be ok. There is no reason for you to push yourself right now." It was then that I finally saw the struggle in Edwards face and the pitch black color of his eyes. I could tell he wanted to stay, but the smell of my blood was too much.

"Go. I'm ok. I promise." I reassured him. He nodded quickly then dropped his head in defeat, reminding me of Alice earlier. He whispered that he would be back soon and took off into the woods, the others trailing close behind.

This is why I hate me birthday.

* * *

**So not a much Bellice but don't you worry. I have very big plans for them in the next few chapters. Thank you again for reading and let me know what you think!**


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